Shiela (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shiawasenajinsei) wrote2009-09-24 11:16 pm
shiawasenajinsei) wrote2009-09-24 11:16 pm
Entry tags:
Writer's Block: Would you want a do-over?
[Error: unknown template qotd]
I would want to redo this day, and not attend the Philosophy make-up class. Ugh. I felt really bad after the class, not merely because I wasn't able to answer the question I was asked, but also because I realized a lot of things and it's not making me happy. To expound on that, let me share this short lamentation I wrote a few hours ago at the back of my Math notebook.
The bus trip from Manila to Cavite seemed to last for only 15 minutes, even though it was actually an hour. I had been thinking hard during the whole trip, that's why. Well, I was alternately thinking and sleeping, I guess. Thinking about what? I was thinking about what I am doing with my life. I am so bewildered right now. And yet, I feel so apathetic. I know it seems that I have lots of things in mind and little time to sort them out and think but still...
I feel so apathetic (I'll say it yet again). I knew the consequences of my apathy, but I don't feel any motivation. I want to have good grades, but every time I try to study, I just fail in doing so. Does studying hate me that much? Now I feel so left behind, I feel like I'm drowning in a sea full of geniuses. I don't want to give up, though. Of course not. I'm the one who threw myself into that sea, anyway. And I am going to get out of there alive.
Dramatic, yes? I know it is, but that's really what I feel these days. Uni's not going well for me, there are a lot of things (and people) that irk me, and the most irritating thing is that I feel that I'm becoming a different person, and that I'm slowly drifting away from the ideal person that I want to be :(
Is this what they call teenage blues? Ugh. Let this stupid phase be over with, please.
I would want to redo this day, and not attend the Philosophy make-up class. Ugh. I felt really bad after the class, not merely because I wasn't able to answer the question I was asked, but also because I realized a lot of things and it's not making me happy. To expound on that, let me share this short lamentation I wrote a few hours ago at the back of my Math notebook.
The bus trip from Manila to Cavite seemed to last for only 15 minutes, even though it was actually an hour. I had been thinking hard during the whole trip, that's why. Well, I was alternately thinking and sleeping, I guess. Thinking about what? I was thinking about what I am doing with my life. I am so bewildered right now. And yet, I feel so apathetic. I know it seems that I have lots of things in mind and little time to sort them out and think but still...
I feel so apathetic (I'll say it yet again). I knew the consequences of my apathy, but I don't feel any motivation. I want to have good grades, but every time I try to study, I just fail in doing so. Does studying hate me that much? Now I feel so left behind, I feel like I'm drowning in a sea full of geniuses. I don't want to give up, though. Of course not. I'm the one who threw myself into that sea, anyway. And I am going to get out of there alive.
Dramatic, yes? I know it is, but that's really what I feel these days. Uni's not going well for me, there are a lot of things (and people) that irk me, and the most irritating thing is that I feel that I'm becoming a different person, and that I'm slowly drifting away from the ideal person that I want to be :(
Is this what they call teenage blues? Ugh. Let this stupid phase be over with, please.