![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shiawasenajinseiThey say that the only permanent thing in the world is change.
As for me, I am not very good with major changes, especially when they are sudden. When we moved to a new house almost four years ago, I felt sad. I missed the old house we lived in, the house where I spent the first fourteen years of my life. Even though my parents decided not to sell it and just make it an ancestral home, I was still saddened. It took me a month before I got to adjust to our new home. In my first year in university, I found it hard to adjust too. The major change that took place that year was really hard for me to handle. It took me until the end of the school year until I could say that I've fully adjusted.
But change isn't all negative, right? I like change when it brings about positive things. One major change that I liked was my choice of university and undergraduate course. Almost three years ago, I took the UPCAT (University of the Philippines College Admissions Test), not really caring about whether I pass or not. Well, actually, I did wish I'd pass, but not because I wanted to go there, simply because it is said to be one of the most difficult college entrance examinations and passing it is a big deal. My sole purpose for taking the test was for bragging rights; I just wanted to be able to say "Hey, I took the UPCAT, and I passed it".
Let me just sway a bit from the topic, and share some of my experiences on that exam almost three years ago. I can still remember that day vividly. My testing center was the multi-purpose hall of a school in the next town. I was scheduled in the afternoon, and I went there just in time wearing jeans and a light blue top. The first exam had been Language (so that's English and Filipino), and I was confident as I breezed through that first exam. However, as the exam went on, I gradually lost some of that confidence, as the subsequent tests were much harder. The second exam was Science, and it was then that I started feeling the difficulty of the exam. I didn't want to lose my calmness though, so I kept telling myself that it's okay while making intelligent guesses on some of the questions the answer I wasn't sure of. I told myself it would be better to make intelligent guesses on some of the questions, then the others which I have absolutely no idea of, I'd just leave blank. It's because we were told at the beginning that for every four wrong answers, one point will be deducted from the total score. An item we didn't answer, however, wouldn't be counted as "wrong". So I told myself to stay calm and went on with that strategy.
It was fine until the third test came, where I lost my grip on about 75% of my confidence in the exam. The third exam had been Mathematics, and it was damn hard. There were a lot of questions I couldn't answer, and so I just left a lot of them unanswered rather than risk it. I looked at the front and it said I still have ten minutes left, but I just couldn't answer the questions anymore, and so I decided to just chill with the remaining time so that I could focus on the last exam. It was already time for merienda then, so I just ate the snacks I brought with me and waited till the time was over. The last test was Reading Comprehension, and it would've been a bit easier if we took it first. My brain was already exhausted at that time that I had to read some items twice, just to be sure of the answer.
After the exam was done, I was pretty sure my chance of getting in was 50-50. I think I did well in Language and Reading Comprehension, but the Science and Mathematics part kinda brought me a bit closer to the edge of not passing. I didn't really care though, because as I've said, during that time I didn't have the slightest interest in getting in. All through out my high school years, I've always thought that I wanted to take up a computer-related course, preferably something with a curriculum that will allow me to focus on graphic design or digital arts later on. What I first had in mind was Information Technology, but some of the universities I've applied to didn't have that course, so I substituted Computer Science (Although, it was quite stupid of me to put Computer Science on my college entrance exam forms, as I've learned that the said course focuses more on the technical aspect of computers - software, hardware, programming and stuff like that). For the UPCAT, since IT isn't offered by any of the UP campuses, I opted for Computer Science and just randomly picked a second choice.
As for the choice of school, the one engraved on my head all throughout those years was De La Salle University Manila, mostly due to my sister's encouragement (that had been her dream school) and the fact that they have a nifty-looking campus.
So going back, all throughout high school I've always thought that I want to take up a computer course and enter DLSU-M. I could've easily made that thought a reality, as I've also passed the entrance exam to DLSU-M with my first choice (which had been Computer Science). However, my mind started to think twice when I learned that I passed the UPCAT (I didn't get into ComSci though, what I got into was my randomly selected second choice, Behavioral Sciences) . A lot of friends and family members encouraged me to get into UP. After all, UP is said to be the most prestigious state university in the country, and tuition there is much cheaper than the tuition in DLSU-M.
And that's when I started to become confused. I had two choices: take up ComSci at DLSU-M, and take up BehSci at UPM. It was really a struggle for me to come up with a decision, because picking one doesn't just entail choosing a university, but also an undergraduate course. Some people told me that I can just enter UPM then shift into ComSci if I really want to, but then I also began to think, "Do I really want to take up this course?". I was at a loss then, because at that point I realized that I didn't know what I want to do with my life. It didn't help that during that time it was only a couple of months before graduation, and I had to make my decision in the couple of months as well.
Every day of that two months confused me to no end. It also didn't help (or so I thought) that during that time, we also had a project for Values Education which somehow required me to know what I want to do with my life. My confusion had gotten to a point where in I tried coming up with a decision with a coin toss. I know, it's crazy, but I was barely 16 then, so you could say that I wasn't the wisest when it comes to making decisions. I wasn't convinced with the coin toss though, and I suddenly realized that to make a good choice and to be able to come up with a good answer to the damn project, I need to weigh my options very well. And to do that, I need information on both choices.
So I started my research on both universities and both courses. After the research on the two universities, I somehow already convinced myself that I'll fit in more with UP (I've been to DLSU-M twice and I always had the feeling of not fitting in); my only problem then was the course. I was hesitant in getting into UP because I didn't know if I'd like the course, and though there's the shifting option, I've heard it wasn't all that easy. But then, as I got to learn more about the two courses, the answer to my question of what I'd like to take up slowly came into light.
In the end, I put Computer Science as my chosen course in the Values project. But that was because the project had something to do with putting up a business with your chosen course, and it's easier to come up with a business when the course is something computer-related. In my heart though, I knew that I'd gradually choose Behavioral Sciences, and it didn't take me a long time to admit it to myself.
And so, on the night of March 15th, the night before the deadline of the confirmation, I submitted my decision.
It was a tiring period of confusion and uncertainty which resulted in an enormous change in my life, but I don't regret making that decision. Looking at that screencap now brings me a light-hearted feeling, because I feel like I am right where I'm supposed to be, a piece of puzzle fitting perfectly into a wonderful, bigger picture :)
And so it was then when I've come to think that change really isn't all that bad. I may not be that good in adjusting, but I just have to trust God and keep in mind that things will always fall into place, no matter how bad they may seem at first. As what is said on my "God wants you to Know" message a few days ago, "change is the very nature of life - welcome it". :)
As for me, I am not very good with major changes, especially when they are sudden. When we moved to a new house almost four years ago, I felt sad. I missed the old house we lived in, the house where I spent the first fourteen years of my life. Even though my parents decided not to sell it and just make it an ancestral home, I was still saddened. It took me a month before I got to adjust to our new home. In my first year in university, I found it hard to adjust too. The major change that took place that year was really hard for me to handle. It took me until the end of the school year until I could say that I've fully adjusted.
But change isn't all negative, right? I like change when it brings about positive things. One major change that I liked was my choice of university and undergraduate course. Almost three years ago, I took the UPCAT (University of the Philippines College Admissions Test), not really caring about whether I pass or not. Well, actually, I did wish I'd pass, but not because I wanted to go there, simply because it is said to be one of the most difficult college entrance examinations and passing it is a big deal. My sole purpose for taking the test was for bragging rights; I just wanted to be able to say "Hey, I took the UPCAT, and I passed it".
Let me just sway a bit from the topic, and share some of my experiences on that exam almost three years ago. I can still remember that day vividly. My testing center was the multi-purpose hall of a school in the next town. I was scheduled in the afternoon, and I went there just in time wearing jeans and a light blue top. The first exam had been Language (so that's English and Filipino), and I was confident as I breezed through that first exam. However, as the exam went on, I gradually lost some of that confidence, as the subsequent tests were much harder. The second exam was Science, and it was then that I started feeling the difficulty of the exam. I didn't want to lose my calmness though, so I kept telling myself that it's okay while making intelligent guesses on some of the questions the answer I wasn't sure of. I told myself it would be better to make intelligent guesses on some of the questions, then the others which I have absolutely no idea of, I'd just leave blank. It's because we were told at the beginning that for every four wrong answers, one point will be deducted from the total score. An item we didn't answer, however, wouldn't be counted as "wrong". So I told myself to stay calm and went on with that strategy.
It was fine until the third test came, where I lost my grip on about 75% of my confidence in the exam. The third exam had been Mathematics, and it was damn hard. There were a lot of questions I couldn't answer, and so I just left a lot of them unanswered rather than risk it. I looked at the front and it said I still have ten minutes left, but I just couldn't answer the questions anymore, and so I decided to just chill with the remaining time so that I could focus on the last exam. It was already time for merienda then, so I just ate the snacks I brought with me and waited till the time was over. The last test was Reading Comprehension, and it would've been a bit easier if we took it first. My brain was already exhausted at that time that I had to read some items twice, just to be sure of the answer.
After the exam was done, I was pretty sure my chance of getting in was 50-50. I think I did well in Language and Reading Comprehension, but the Science and Mathematics part kinda brought me a bit closer to the edge of not passing. I didn't really care though, because as I've said, during that time I didn't have the slightest interest in getting in. All through out my high school years, I've always thought that I wanted to take up a computer-related course, preferably something with a curriculum that will allow me to focus on graphic design or digital arts later on. What I first had in mind was Information Technology, but some of the universities I've applied to didn't have that course, so I substituted Computer Science (Although, it was quite stupid of me to put Computer Science on my college entrance exam forms, as I've learned that the said course focuses more on the technical aspect of computers - software, hardware, programming and stuff like that). For the UPCAT, since IT isn't offered by any of the UP campuses, I opted for Computer Science and just randomly picked a second choice.
As for the choice of school, the one engraved on my head all throughout those years was De La Salle University Manila, mostly due to my sister's encouragement (that had been her dream school) and the fact that they have a nifty-looking campus.
So going back, all throughout high school I've always thought that I want to take up a computer course and enter DLSU-M. I could've easily made that thought a reality, as I've also passed the entrance exam to DLSU-M with my first choice (which had been Computer Science). However, my mind started to think twice when I learned that I passed the UPCAT (I didn't get into ComSci though, what I got into was my randomly selected second choice, Behavioral Sciences) . A lot of friends and family members encouraged me to get into UP. After all, UP is said to be the most prestigious state university in the country, and tuition there is much cheaper than the tuition in DLSU-M.
And that's when I started to become confused. I had two choices: take up ComSci at DLSU-M, and take up BehSci at UPM. It was really a struggle for me to come up with a decision, because picking one doesn't just entail choosing a university, but also an undergraduate course. Some people told me that I can just enter UPM then shift into ComSci if I really want to, but then I also began to think, "Do I really want to take up this course?". I was at a loss then, because at that point I realized that I didn't know what I want to do with my life. It didn't help that during that time it was only a couple of months before graduation, and I had to make my decision in the couple of months as well.
Every day of that two months confused me to no end. It also didn't help (or so I thought) that during that time, we also had a project for Values Education which somehow required me to know what I want to do with my life. My confusion had gotten to a point where in I tried coming up with a decision with a coin toss. I know, it's crazy, but I was barely 16 then, so you could say that I wasn't the wisest when it comes to making decisions. I wasn't convinced with the coin toss though, and I suddenly realized that to make a good choice and to be able to come up with a good answer to the damn project, I need to weigh my options very well. And to do that, I need information on both choices.
So I started my research on both universities and both courses. After the research on the two universities, I somehow already convinced myself that I'll fit in more with UP (I've been to DLSU-M twice and I always had the feeling of not fitting in); my only problem then was the course. I was hesitant in getting into UP because I didn't know if I'd like the course, and though there's the shifting option, I've heard it wasn't all that easy. But then, as I got to learn more about the two courses, the answer to my question of what I'd like to take up slowly came into light.
In the end, I put Computer Science as my chosen course in the Values project. But that was because the project had something to do with putting up a business with your chosen course, and it's easier to come up with a business when the course is something computer-related. In my heart though, I knew that I'd gradually choose Behavioral Sciences, and it didn't take me a long time to admit it to myself.
And so, on the night of March 15th, the night before the deadline of the confirmation, I submitted my decision.
It was a tiring period of confusion and uncertainty which resulted in an enormous change in my life, but I don't regret making that decision. Looking at that screencap now brings me a light-hearted feeling, because I feel like I am right where I'm supposed to be, a piece of puzzle fitting perfectly into a wonderful, bigger picture :)
And so it was then when I've come to think that change really isn't all that bad. I may not be that good in adjusting, but I just have to trust God and keep in mind that things will always fall into place, no matter how bad they may seem at first. As what is said on my "God wants you to Know" message a few days ago, "change is the very nature of life - welcome it". :)
